Managing office conflict
By David Wilson | smh.com.au | 18 August
Overseeing people we like is easy, overseeing people who like us easier still.
Dealing with hostility or passive aggression is a different story. In the modern workplace, a manager cannot just sack the troublemaker and get on with business. A manager must negotiate.
The secret of negotiating with anyone is to strike a balance between respecting the worker's rights and enforcing boundaries of acceptable behaviour, says conflict resolution trainer Eleanor Shakiba - whose interest in conciliation stems from a stint as a librarian, when she faced clients incensed by 90-cent fines.
Shakiba says you first need to know yourself. Most people fall into one of two personality types.
The first type is aggressive and concerned with domination. In which case, you need to learn to be steadily assertive.
The second personality type is liable to back down and be passive. "Those managers need to be able to stand up for themselves because they'll often feel they're being aggressive when they're in fact being assertive," she says.
Whatever your tendency, keep calm and avoid succumbing to anger or fear by using a visualisation technique. For example, Shakiba suggests imagining that you are viewing a wildlife documentary.
"And here's this person puffing up in front of you, just like an enraged animal puffing up its fur. And you're just watching how well they do that, instead of taking it personally."
Next, question the employee to determine the cause of the ructions. For instance, ask "How can we resolve this?"
No manager can resolve every clash but that cool approach usually takes the sting away from discussion and clears the way for progress. If it fails, suggest a 10-minute break then explain what you can and cannot do. Negotiate an outcome.
Above all, never let a staff member get away with bad behaviour. Pick up on any emotional outbursts instantly - before the person has the chance to storm home - or on their return.
Dithering only serves to compound antagonism. "Every time the person has a temper tantrum they eventually have control of the situation," Shakiba says.
Persistent whingeing may sound less toxic than tantrums but must also be addressed. Shakiba advises making it clear that chronic complaining is manipulative, undermining and unacceptable.
In the same way, rumour-mongering can also gnaw away at company morale. Managers, she says, can respond: "I have heard these statements coming back to me. I'm concerned that people are saying this and I want to tell you that it's not acceptable."
Again, enacting this strategy takes courage. "Of all the things I teach, the thing students have most resistance to is confronting someone because it seems scary."
Nonetheless, all antisocial behaviour must be challenged even if it comes in an oblique form such as sarcasm, which prevails because it is normally easy to get away with. Tell the snide sniper that you object to the tone of the message rather than the outwardly innocent words.
Never let anyone pass the buck. Put your foot down and refuse to budge until the artful dodger takes responsibility, Shakiba says.
Jane Coffey, associate head of human resources at Curtin Business School in Perth, agrees that a manager must get on the case, whether a staff member is evasive, aggressive, habitually late or guilty of some other transgression. "The overriding issue," Coffey says, "is performance management at the time of the incident. The avoidance style of conflict management doesn't work with difficult staff.
"Sit down with them [and] explain where the problem is, whether it be a question of attitude or poor performance or whatever. Always provide concrete examples. This stops the staff member from avoiding [the issue] or getting defensive. Explain what the expected standard is and always give them an opportunity to give their point of view on how it can be fixed. Then put a joint action plan in place with a review date."
Likewise, Marcelle Craner, an Australian Institute of Management senior trainer, says instant action is vital, and suggests a highly structured approach to dialogue. Use an assertive "I" statement detailing when a disruption happened, what it objectively consisted of and a statement of how you would like things to change. Avoid using "you" because it often provokes an emotional reaction and will defeat your purpose, she says.
For example, in response to gibes, a manager might say: "What I would like is to receive constructive feedback openly and honestly."
Such a carefully couched statement may sound stilted but makes its point without taking on a personal or apologetic tone. "Do not be manipulated or sidetracked," Craner says.
Manage aggression
Managing conflict is an acute drain on resources. Figures in the social science journal Leadership Quarterly suggest 42 per cent of a manager's time is spent reaching agreement with others when conflict arises. According to the workplace consultancy Working Dynamics, 65 per cent of performance problems stem from strained relationships between employees.
There is a range of local and interstate conflict resolution training resources.
Sydney consultancy Team Focus has tailored, "transformational" human resources programs; Gymea consultancy KRA has a course on "handling aggression and mutual problem solving for win-win outcomes".
Ripe Learning, which has branches in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne and Adelaide, runs a course that promises to harness "the positive and negative energies that conflict can bring".
First published by Smh.com.au on August 18 2008
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