When office romance goes bad
By Sally Howes | thebigchair.com.au | 14 November
In this day and age of political correctness and with businesses managing all manner of legal and social responsibilities, Masters student Ruth Byrne has found a surprising gap.
Few organisations have processes in place to manage workplace romance and more specifically, strategies for love gone wrong among their staff.
Byrne is doing her thesis in this area and says the challenge of managing staff relationships as well as the mayhem caused by office affairs gone wrong is a daunting one but one that can have significant impacts on the business ranging from corporate culture changes to falling individual and team productivity and low morale to legal issues.
As a part of her thesis Byrne is seeking ex-partners still working in the same organisation when their relationship ended. From these case studies she hopes to develop strategies and guidelines for businesses.
Speaking to John Mangan, Byrne said "It's such a messy area, I think researches haven't wanted to go there", " but we do know that the effects are enormous – people end up leaving their job, even making attempts on their own lives"
Byrne says "Anecdotally the effects are enormous - those involved can be ostracised by colleagues, negative behaviours can spiral out of control, bullying and sexual harassment claims can result, and people end up leaving their job."
Accept the facts, avoid the costs
So, romance among staff is a fact of life. It is clear that ignoring this area of HR leaves an organisation open to a number of potentially serious problems impacting individual workers, teams as well as the company as a whole.
Is there a way of minimizing the risk of workplace romance? Byrne says that a relaxed working environment where workers socialise is "likely to produce more liaisons" however, she also points out that even the most formal of workplaces, project work that throws groups of people into "intense working relationships" can produce similar results.
Individuals have the right to privacy but not at the expense of inappropriate behaviour in the workplace where legal issues are the result. At some point management must become involved.
In a perfect world couples would discuss the situation with their respective managers or manager if they are in the same team, and the situation would be handled to avoid interpersonal conflict, any advantages (perceived or otherwise) for the couple and potential disadvantages for teammates.
As an example Byrne noted that knowledge of a relationship within a team can cause jealousies and conflict, reducing productivity and can impact badly on team culture leaving more permanent problems for managers to deal with.
In the aftermath of a workplace break-up another set of key issues need managing. Emotions will potentially be running high and even greater disruptions can occur.
Relationship management
The individual may need to have their workload re-assessed and may even need time off. Their involvement in other teams and projects may be compromised and must be factored into plans.
Break-ups can also stir divisive behaviours beyond the couple if other employees take sides in the split and for alliances. Byrne says gossip and the questioning of people's professionalism are among further destructive side-effects.
Some organizations actively discourage staff relationships but Byrne does not believe this to be and effective strategy.
Byrne recommends that, at a basic level, managers must acknowledge office romance as a fact of life and be prepared. She suggests with both education and regulation, serious pitfalls can be avoided or at least minimised.
According to Byrne, organizations should set up parameters to manage potential conflicts of interest between the parties involved. Clearly a couple should not be involved in, for example, performance reviews or promotion committees involving each other.
Transferring one of the individuals could be an option, either during the relationship if issues both real and perceived are unavoidable, or after a break-up.
Public displays of affection could lead to sexual harassment suits so appropriate conduct between people should be clearly outlined.
Byrne noted that many existing codes of conduct will cover these situations even if not specifically designed to do so, managers just need to apply them appropriately to these situations.
When it all falls apart
In the case of failed relationships, managers have a range of options to minimize distress for the couple and disruptions to those around them and thus the organisation.
Individuals can be referred to counselling, project deadlines can be extended, a leave of absence could also be wise. Ex-couple should also be reminded of their legal responsibilities towards each other and those around them if negative behaviours begin to develop. Byrne says treating people with respect is a vital element in managing and resolving these situations.
Where to now?
Most people would agree that a happy workplace is a good workplace. Happy employees who socialize outside the workplace are more likely to develop closer relationships. According to one HR professional it is a "positive and almost inevitable result of a good workplace with a happy and healthy culture".
Businesses must acknowledge this reality and deal appropriately with the risks and benefits of relationships amongst their staff.
People thinking of becoming involved with a co-worker need to look carefully at the potential ramifications of an office romance and be aware of the risks to themselves their careers and their organization.
Businesses must be equally prepared.
If you would like to be a part of Ruth Byrne's study see if you fit her requirements below then send her an email.
To qualify:
Participants need to have been personally involved in a failed workplace romance in the past three years where both relationship partners were still working in the same organisation when the relationship ended. The romance must have finished at least six months ago. If you are still experiencing distress as a result of the break-up you should not participate as the experience may aggravate your distress.
ruth.byrne@med.monash.edu.au
